Archive for December, 2009

…Christmas is over, it just stopped on December 26. 

Oh sure, there may be a party or two left which you must attend, or some family gathering that poses as a Christmas celebration now that the family can actually get togheter, but really…

…it’s OVER!

So, here are a few things I hate about the “after Christmas season”.

  1. Early hours at the mall.  Really people, do not screw up my early morning walking time with your post Christmas greed for cheap stuff.
  2. Traffic.  C’mon, did every one forget how to drive on Christmas Day?  And must you ALL come out at once?
  3. After Christmas commercials on TV.  Macy’s, JCP, Target…I don’t care if you open at 6 AM.  We already knew you would be anyway.
  4. The way Christmas music comes to a screeching halt at 11:59 PM on 12/25.  Sure, we’re all sick of it by then, but really, can’t we just keep the merriment going a little longer?
  5. Return lines, or the lack of employees to man return lines.  Do you want us to keep that stuff so badly that you put one illiterate, moronic, social outcast back there?  RUDE!  And is the black nail polish and the “I Heart Satan” T-Shirt necessary?
  6. Bargain hunters with NO manners.  I’ve never wanted to “b#%^! slap” so many people in my life! 
  7. And their spawn!!!  Can you say “baby sitter”? 
  8. After Christmas movies.  Does Meryl Streep HAVE to have a new movie EVERY CHRISTMAS DAY?
  9. Cold weather.  I’m ready for April now!
  10. The Christmas tree with no gifts under it, or worse yet, unwrapped presents that no one is willing to put away.  Are we all that lazy?
  11. Taking down the Christmas tree.  Putting it up is happy, fun, exciting, full of hope.  Taking it down, not so much!
  12. New Year’s resolutions.  Yeah, like we’re all gonna’ lose 20 pounds, stop eating too many carbs, go to the gym, be nicer, find a church, etc.?  Get a grip!
  13. Left overs, honestly, they’re good for a day or two, but that’s it.  Pizza time!
  14. Subtle hints that the item recieved may not be “just what they wanted”…you know, “Where’d you get that shirt/purse/Chia Pet?”  Something tells me it’s going back.  Grow a spine, offer up something like…”Hey, what happened to your taste with this one, did you forget me until the last minute?” 
  15. New Year’s Eve.  Amateur night.  If you don’t know how to party all year long, please don’t save the madness for 12/31!  And stay off the damn interstate!
  16. Ryan Seacrest replacing Dick Clark on “Rockin’ New Year’s Eve”.  I know Dick’s old, sick, and tired, but Ryan’s no Dick, well maybe he is!
  17. Running out of Pumpkin Pie!   This just should never happen.
  18. Stale cookies.  Can you say “Press and Seal”?
  19. People who leave their Christmas Lights up until March!  Al Gore called, Global Warming is ALL your fault!
  20. Oh yes, Bills, they really suck!

Happy New Year!!

Let There Be Light…

Have you often wondered which department store in the US was the first with electric lights?

Ok, you may not have thought about it, but you’ve certaintly taken it for granted.

Walk into Wal-Mart or Target or Macy’s or well, there’s not much else, and imagine that it was lit by gas or oil lamps or candles.

You’d never be able to find anything.

But, there was a time when everyone shopped that way.

At least until John Wanamaker put electric lights in his Philidephia, PA store.

The lights came on December 26…

…1895!

Wanamakers' Logo

John Wanamaker was known for his honesty and innovation.

He based his business practices on honesty and Biblical principles.

He was the first retailer to copyright his advertisements, refused to advertise on Sundays (no department stores were open on Sundays, sorry Mr. Cathy) , and put his guarantee in PRINT!

Prior to opening his new store, The Grand Depot for business, he allowed Evangelist Dwight L. Moody to hold services there,  and provided 200 store employees as ushers.  And he paid them.  The place even had an organ. 

A Grand Organ…

Wanamakers' Grand Court and Pipe Organ

He also allowed his customers to return merchandise for a CASH REFUND.

And he was the first department store to have a full service restaurant inside the store.

He refused to allow his employees to be “scolded in public” by management, gave them access to the John Wanamaker Commercial Institute, FREE medical care, profit sharing, recreational facilities, and pensions long before anyone else did so.  In fact, the next one to do it was RJ Reynolds, of Oh My Cow! the tobacco industry.

Eventually the Mall Era, Federated Stores and Allied Stores would do Wanamakers in.

Wanamakers was absorbed by Hecht’s which was absorbed by Macy’s.

John Wanamaker

Wanamker died in 1922 during the store’s Gilded Age.  Fortunately, he didn’t have to see what would eventually be accepted by the American public as “retail” and “customer service”.

Can you tell my shopping experiences this year weren’t all that great…

and

…is any one at Wal-Mart, Target, Sears, and Macy’s reading my blog?

MERRY CHRISTMAS…

WINTER WONDERLAND

 

…FROM REDNECK LATTE RAVINGS…

…stay at home…

…stay in your pajamas…at least until dinner time…

JAMMIES

…if you don’t wear pajamas, buy some for today…

STAY COMFY

…underwear does not count as pajamas…

COMFY TOGETHER

…if you must go out…

…dress for the occasion…

…make sure there’s a little room in the waist…

…even if you promise yourself you won’t over eat…

…you will…

…and have a Merry Comfortable Christmas…