Ah, 2009…what a year.

January saw me taking my youngest off to college in Nashville, Tennessee. 

A sad trip home.

The following day, Barack Obama was inagurated as the 44th POTUS. 

An historic day for America.

The audience (on both sides) behaved more badly than I’ve seen at an inauguration since LBJ in 1964, but at least Aretha sang for us

There was fighting in Darfur.

February brought the death of James Whitmore of “Shawshank Redemption” and Television’s “My Friend Tony” fame.

The Steelers won Super Bowl XLIII

Slumdog Millionaire won best picture at the 81st Oscars.

I didn’t see it.

They were still fighting in Darfur.

March brought an even earlier Daylight Savings Time

I was cheated out of even more sleep by the ever meddling Federal Government.

The International Criminal Court issued an arrest warrant for Sudanese President Omar Hassan al-Bashir for war crimes against humanity in Darfur.

They were still fighting in Darfur.

In April, NATO was strengthened by the addition of Albania and Croatia, the G-20 summit met for the second time – it’s main focus was the international financial meltdown, North Korea caused panic by launching a rocket, former Peruvian President Alberto Fujimori was sentenced to 25 years in the slammer for ordering killings and kidnappings, Nancy Pelosi still wanted to try George W. Bush and Dick Cheney.

My Mother celebrated her 90th birthday, the family was all together for the first time in a decade, and she made it through it all with a fractured  pelvic bone.

There was fighting in Darfur.

If it hadn’t been for Cinco de Mayo, May would have been unbearable.

You know, with all that fighting in Darfur and all.

June brought my 57th birthday.  I was presented with a ticket to see Lynyrd Skynyrd, a life long dream.

Kid Rock was there too, but I went anyway, and I’m glad I did.  I made some new friends.

Michael Jackson died the day before my birthday shortly after Farrah Fawcett.  America lost two ICONS!  I went out to dinner anyway.

And there was fighting in Darfur.

July saw the 233rd celebration of America’s independence, France once again celebrated Bastille Day, Michael Jackson’s funeral was held, and The OAS (Organization of American States) spanked Honduras for not reinstating President Zelaya.  A political controversy in Central America, how surprising!

And there was some dust up in Darfur.

August saw the deaths of sister and brother, Eunice Kennedy Shriver and Senator Teddy Kennedy.

The Special Olympics lost it’s founder and good friend in Eunice.

There was some report of fighting in Darfur.

In September, Mother and Daddy celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary.

September also brought the worst flooding to Georgia in 100 years.   Schools were closed, millions of dollars of damage done, I was displaced at school (voted off the island), Patrick Swayze died way too soon, and the housing market collapsed.

A  new word entered the American Lexicon in September, a verb, “to Kanye”, or rudely interrupt.  As in, “Don’t kanye me when I’m talkin’ to you!” 

Kanye can also be used as a noun.  A Kanye, someone who makes a fool of himself, damages his career, and generally pisses everyone off.  As in, “Don’t be a Kanye!”

And there was fighting in Darfur.

October brought the debut of Redneck Latte Ravings, and I started having fun again.

President Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize.

There was war in Afghanastan and Iraq, and there was fighting in Darfur.

November saw the worst Black Friday sales in a long time.

In November we lost the father of the Theory of Superconductivity, Vitaly Ginzburg a Nobel Laureate in Science.  He was important because he helped to bring the USSR into the nuclear age by creating the first Soviet Atomic Bomb.

Dubai caused a huge stock market drop. scaring the pants off everyone in the world who thought it was a mega rich little principality, when it asked for an extension on its loans.  The European Union came together paving the way of the AntiChrist when it elected it first President, the Prime Minister of Belgium, Herman van Rompuy.

And there was fighting in Darfur.

December brought cold weather, movement halting snow storms, politically slanted Golden Globe nominations, the death of Britnany Murphy, Roy Disney, and Gene Barry (Bat Masterson for all of you who don’t remember but knew you knew the name.)

People complained because President Obama and his family spent Christmas Vacation in Hawai’i at $4,000. 00 per night.  It’s his money, his vacation, and my only complaint is that couldn’t go with him.

It also brought Christmas, Celebration, Hope, and Happiness for many.

For a while anyway, until the Nigerian Jackass put a bomb on a plane in Detriot.  (Anyone missing Dick Cheney about now?)

And yes,  there was still fighting in Darfur.

Happy New Year from Redneck Latte Ravings.

…sorry, I can’t resist this…

From Beautiful Downtown Norcross, GA (just outside of the ATL)

Hope your new year is a good one!!!

UP

Ok, 2010 or MMX is rapidly approaching, so it’s time for some New Year’s Resolutions.

I don’t make them, but I’m sure there are plenty who do, and plenty who need to do so.

I just know that, well, like the Fonz, why mess with it!

So GUYS, here are a few things you should remember for 2010…

1. Do NOT come home from work and ask “What have you been doing all day?  Really, it’s just not well recieved.  Trust me on this one.  Asked once, answered FOREVER!
2. A waffle maker, even if it is a Belgian Waffle Maker (which I want BTW) is not an appropriate Valentine’s Day Gift.  It’s just around the corner, Kroger already has the candy out, and we need to start thinking about it now.  Jewelry, candy, flowers, cruises, but no Waffle Iron!  Or any other appliance or practical gift for that matter. 
3. Cologne is not a good gift!  It implies that you A. don’t like the way she smells, or B. that she could smell better.  LIVE WITH IT!  If she asks for cologne, don’t fall for it…get her a gift card to Macy’s if you have no imagination, but really cologne is a no no!  And while we’re on the personal stuff, lingere is for YOU, not for her!
4. Relsolve to speak less about yourself and more about her.  You’re probably a good father, husband, golfer, cook, driver, but you’re not the best, and you’re not better than EVERYONE else, and  you may not be better than her.  So, think of nice things to say, like when she’s driving, you know…”Thanks for keeping me from getting a DUI babe!”
5. Resolve to never complain about a meal.  This includes faces as well…don’t make them.  Brussel Sprouts are good for you, Man UP and eat them.  After all she may have slaved all day over the Brussel Sprout Souffle ya know!
6. Resolve to try on clothes when you’re shopping with her.  There are several reasons really, but mainly, it will piss her off majorly if you just grab a pair of jeans in your size and dash to Bon Qui Qui at the check out counter.  She wants to see them on you and make sure they fit…see Fashion Friday for advice on this one.  
7. Resolve not to be “the smartest guy in the room”, she probably knows more than you about many things, NEVER correct her, let her FINISH a sentence.  Just because you CAN finish each others sentences doesn’t mean  you should.
8. Reslove to do more around the house and NOT BRAG about it.  She probably has a “real” job too.  She probably would love for you to pick those skivvies off the floor and not expect a reward…tidyness isn’t an Olympic Sport, and you’re not Michael Phelps!
9. Resolve NEVER to criticize a new look.  Hair, make up (even if it’s clown make up), shoes (again, clown shoes), dress, halter top, Harley T-shirt….JUST DON”T DO IT.  She worked hard on the look, paid good money for it, and expects to reap the rewards.  Fake it buddy, she’s probably been for years!  AND LASTLY…
10. When she goes out and you’re stuck with  your own offspring…DO NOT REFER TO IT AS BABY SITTING.  It isn’t.  They’re yours, well, at least  you hope so!

Make it a smart New Year!

Ah, Christmas.

It’s over, the cookies are baked and eaten, the dinner was eaten, the fine china put away, the tree is wilting, the wrapping paper is all thrown away, all that’s left is the returning.

And the regret of course.

Any gifts you’re sorry you bought?

Or got!

Of course there are. 

The snore strips for the “significant other”, the boflex  you’ll never use, the fuzzy Gator slippers, and on and on and on.  Maybe you should start earlier…now, there’s an idea!  Or buy all year long…but stay within the budget.

Then there are some of us who like the Christmas Rush, the pulling and pushing, finding “just the right thing” at the last minute. 

And then there’s on line!

Thank goodness for that…they even send a return label if you need it…now that’s customer service!

There are somethings you just can’t return though…people get hurt and all.

So, you’re forced to wear the ugly sweater or lime green sweat pants in silence and just hope you don’t run into anyone you know.

Some things you have to do for love!

So, keep it, wear it, and donate it next season!

After all, there’ll be more next year….

Can’t wait!