Welcome to a Redneck Latte!
Posted by PaulOct 8
![unclepaul2[1] unclepaul2[1]](http://www.rednecklatte.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/unclepaul21.jpg)
Red Neck Latte:
noun –
Waffle House Coffee to go, filled to the top of the “waffle” with coffee, 10 sweet n’ lows, and filled to the top of the cup with REAL milk. (Real milk is WHOLE MILK.)
I will not pay $4.00 for a frickin’ cup of coffee. Really, words like venti, Grande, steamed foam, mocha latte frappe, etc. did not come into the American Lexicon (unless you were in Spanish or Italian class) ‘til Starbucks came up with the (notedly brilliant) market plan to re-caffeinate Americans. My hat’s off to them, really it is. Frankly, I wish I’d thought of it.
Rule of Paul Law # 1: Don’t mess with my coffee. Seriously folks, do NOT “EFF” with my coffee. Coffee is coffee. It’s not foamy, it’s not iced, it’s not steamed, foamed, whipped, or anything else. It’s coffee. Some purists like it black. Some like it with sugar only, some milk or cream only, some with “fake” sugar. Me loves me coffee. Really, (and I’m hoping my cardiologist isn’t reading this), but me ‘hearts’ me coffee, or as I prefer to call it, my Red Neck Latte. I know, it’s kinda like adding class to NASCAR, painting a smile on the Mona Lisa and all that, but morning isn’t morning without my Redneck Latte. I’m hoping from now on, yours won’t be either.
So, dear reader, this blog is here for you to start your morning with a laugh and a cup o’ Joe, with our without milk, sugar, sweet n’ low, splenda, equal (just like Cher does) or yes, even iced, join me, laugh with me, or at me. Let me know how you feel.

18 comments
Comment by AmazingGreis on October 8, 2009 at 5:31 am
Welcome to the blogosphere Uncle Paul. I love reading your comments over at Jenny and Emily’s site. Looking forward to your posts!
Comment by Jenny (your favorite niece)! on October 8, 2009 at 5:32 am
You are hilarious! I predict I will soon not be able to function without my morning latte!
Comment by Jana on October 8, 2009 at 12:50 pm
I am so excited you have your own blog! I love your comments on Em and Jenny’s blog so when Jenny said you were gettin’ your own I was stoked!
As far as coffee goes, seriously? I don’t understand why people pay 4 bucks or more for coffee/latte! But I love my coffee, at home while reading all the blogs!! Good luck!
Comment by Charlie on October 8, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Great start. Had to restrict my coffee intake after last surgery. I still miss it.
Comment by BusyDad on October 8, 2009 at 2:25 pm
WORD. I totally agree. I am a purist myself. Black coffee, ribeye with salt, whiskey/bourbon straight up. Rock on, and best of luck with the new blog. Just one word of advice. Don’t try to blog about couponing and CVS. Jenny’s got that well covered!
Comment by Monica~MommyBrain on October 8, 2009 at 2:40 pm
Welcome to the blogosphere!!! I have yet to go to a Waffle House… and there are so many of them out here in NC. I may have to go check one out! Looking forward to reading more!
Comment by Lori on October 8, 2009 at 3:39 pm
Oh Jenny’s Uncle Paul, I am SO EXCITED that you have your own blog! I can’t wait to read what whitty kernels of knowledge and observations you have for your loyal readers!
Comment by Cortney @ evanhaslanded on October 8, 2009 at 8:16 pm
Welcome to the Blogosphere UP! I can’t wait to wake up with you and enjoy my morning cup of Red Neck Latte. But I do have to admit, I do like mine iced, frothy and expensive but I can have it red Neck also, because this girl’s heart is her coffee too!!
Comment by Marianne on October 8, 2009 at 9:46 pm
Oh, UP, I am clapping like a seal over here now that you’ve finally got your own blog.
I will be dropping by! Welcome to the internetz!
Comment by Amy in OHio on October 8, 2009 at 9:56 pm
I’ve heard tale of this amazing Uncle from down yonder. So happy to welcome you to the blogosphere!
Waffle House has one of the best coffees out there, and I’m not a coffee drinker as a rule, but I get it there, along with a double order of hashbrowns because I like to feel my arteries harden. But Sweet n Low? Dude…yuck.
Comment by bernadette on October 9, 2009 at 7:25 am
LOVE THE SMARTASSNESS.. cant wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
do you have a feed link?
Comment by zola on October 9, 2009 at 8:49 am
To my brother, Paul, frustrated author, family comedian and “Tudor” family wannabe…..you really do look too much like the rest of us to have really been switched at birth!! Great pic by the way, cousin Jenny really has the touch. Excited for you, looking forward to reading daily. While I won’t pay $4.00 for coffee, I will pay a premium price for a LARGE HAZELNUT ICE COFFEE, DOUBLE HAZELNUT, THREE SPLENDA PUT IN!! It’s my new alcohol!!! Love ya’ Keep on entertaining. :>)
Comment by Crista on October 13, 2009 at 2:59 am
You all must have glass in your neck of the woods. In mine, a Redneck Latte is a Budweiser you drink before noon.
Comment by Crista on October 13, 2009 at 2:59 am
class, rather. lol
Comment by Sarah on October 13, 2009 at 10:04 pm
Yeah…I love it! Don’t write stuff about me!
Comment by Lauren on October 15, 2009 at 7:19 am
Flavored creamer is the way to go! I LOVE your blogs. Keep the “Should You Be Wearing That?” section… it’s perfect. I will be a frequent listener to your rants as I share many of the same views as you. I am currently dealing with a situation in which, “just drop it”, is the advice I need to hear. Keep sharing your wisdom and humor as I will be checking in for a morning laugh before the kiddies come strolling through the door!
Comment by BJ Benton on October 18, 2009 at 1:19 pm
Paul:
I enjoyed looking over your blog. You write well and I especially enjoyed your definition of Redneck Latte. I will never forget seeing you make your coffee for the first time. I was sitting near you at the Waffle House, hanging out with Buddy, Robert, Kelly, Ed and the girls, when your coffee was served. I thought you would never stop putting sugar and milk in that cup! NOW I UNDERSTAND!! Very funny. Thanks for telling me about the blog – I will check in from time to time. See you at the Big House!
Comment by Marvin on October 21, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Too much work for so little reward.